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Boudoir is an opportunity for me to express myself in a business that was otherwise my husband Jarrett’s dream. For quite some time I have played the supporting role. Always behind the scenes and never getting much of the glory. Now being behind the scenes and not getting any of the glory was never actually an issue for me, this was after all, Jarrett’s dream. However the more I became involved, the more this business had to have a “why” for me. I couldn’t just go through the motions of being a supporting actress anymore and thus my passion for boudoir was born.
I realized somewhere along the way I had lost ME. I had spent the past 7 years being pregnant, giving birth and doing absolutely everything for my kids and family that I had completely forgotten to think about or do anything for me. Even worse than forgetting, was that I actually felt guilty for even thinking about taking some time for myself. Going out for a few hours to get my hair done was so stressful. Constantly feeling I had to rush back home because things would fall apart without me there. Seriously, why did I ever think I was the only person that could keep my kids fed, happy and alive? I rarely went to the gym and it took me quite a few years to not feel guilty going for a run. All this mom guilt I was placing on myself was slowly suffocating me and I was miserable because of it. It didn’t help that I was pregnant 9 months on 9 months off for 5 years, yes we are a little bit insane. Once our youngest reached around 18 months it dawned on me that it was time to find something for me because the me as I knew it was changing whether I wanted it or not. Since having my oldest, I’ve had a newborn in my arms every 18 months and was then consumed with newborn motherhood, then baby with toddlers’ motherhood, and then before I knew it I was pregnant again. Only this time the cycle didn’t repeat and because I had devoted every bit of me to our kids, I had no idea what me without a newborn or being pregnant wanted. It was a very emotional realization and if I’m being honest pretty scary.
It wasn’t until we started working with our business coach Julie who has actually doubled as a fabulous life coach that I realized I desperately needed to take care of myself. I not only owed it to myself but to my kids as well. How could I be the best mom if I was miserable, angry and resentful all the time? How could I teach my girls to not do what I was doing if I wasn’t showing them another way? How could I teach my boys to recognize the signs of their significant others heading down the same path I did, if I didn’t stop and acknowledge it myself. If I didn’t think I was important enough to be thought about, then how could I expect anyone else to think I was? So many tough thoughts that would have absolutely been easier to continue to push down, ignore and not deal with but really where would that have gotten me? Where would it have gotten my family?
Now don’t get me wrong, this newfound self-acknowledgement didn’t come easily. There was a lot of feet dragging and sometimes I’m pretty sure I was on the verge of being dragged kicking and screaming to this new place but once I finally got here it was so freeing. I felt lighter and more positive and so excited about the future, which was something I hadn’t felt in awhile. Then one night it happened. I finally had my ah ha moment and realized what I wanted to do. I wanted to encourage women, particularly moms, to realize they are amazing, important and worth being seen. That we need to take time for ourselves and not feel the tiniest bit guilty about it because everyone deserves downtime to recharge. That we need to celebrate the perfection in all of our imperfections and most importantly, that we need to love ourselves. Through all of this my passion for boudoir was born.
What an amazing way to celebrate you by doing a sexy, empowering boudoir shoot all for yourself. Taking an afternoon, getting your hair and makeup done, enjoying a quiet glass of wine, putting on something you feel fabulous in and having some absolutely stunning images taken. Seriously, this makes me so happy and excited to be able to provide this opportunity to you all.
So, if any of you lovely ladies reading this have connected with anything I have said, please, please, please be sure you start taking some time for yourself. Start recognizing how amazing and perfect and worth it you are. Start giving yourself some time each day or even each week for you. Read a book, enjoy a hot coffee (yes, the elusive hot coffee does exist), have a glass of wine, go for a walk, veg out in front of the television, whatever your thing is make sure you do it! Finally, start seeing yourself through your kid’s eyes because they are way smarter than we give them credit for.
If you’ve related to anything I’ve said and you think you’d like to rediscover yourself I’d love to have a conversation about beautiful you.
Take care of yourself,